Who taught us, that vulnerability is a weakness !

Ever since I’ve been questioning:

In whatever we do,
aren’t we killing our innocence as we continue to grow,
aren’t we fooling ourselves
when the societal norms
continue to impact us negatively ?
Doubting ourselves,
Constantly fearing rejection,
Unable to achieve perfection and excellence,
Afraid to share, speak, explain, cry,
Because they taught us that way.

Aren’t we all constantly hunting stability,
when we barely know the purpose of it.
Aren’t we fighting and conflicting on the inside,
fulfilling influential expectations.
How easy it is,
to say
that everything is unconvincing,
when we don’t even think beyond.

Let’s stop receiving and sending these norms.
We’re battling to be better versions of ourselves,
with different perspectives,
different lives altogether.

– ©Ananya Bansiwal
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The ability to “Feel”

The ability to feel,
is what we often undermine.
Thinking of,
how miserable human life is,
finding stability and existence
amidst grief,
and so much more,
we tend to ignore the other side of relevance.
Isn’t it quite a blessing,
to know,
to perceive,
to sense,
to endure experiences, both good and bad,
to interpret,
to grasp,
to cry,
to learn,
to improve,
to change,
to do every pretty little thing,
that we often neglect
as a part of our growth and existential being.
Irrespective of wanting everything,
there’s more to the world,
if you look by.

– ©Ananya Bansiwal

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Maybe, they had a reason

I would never say,
even if I think
of doing it,
I’ve come faraway.
All the times
I’ve been screaming in silence,
whenever you’re in my head
questioning my existence.
How abruptly,
we’ve grown into people
we thought we’d never be.
“No one understands”
isn’t that enough for a mind to be trapped !
Maybe, they had a reason
for we all don’t go through same seasons.

©Ananya Bansiwal
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Emotional Abuse

To me,
Love is maybe
Like the promise of a fresh citrus fruit,
Something I can hold onto,
Something I can’t let go,
Something that is deeper and bounding, than just the word ‘love’.
But today,
I won’t talk about ‘happy interpersonal relationships’
We often tend to ignore and neglect
the early signs of emotional abuse
in our daily interpersonal relationships,
especially when it comes to
people whom we live, walk around, talk, and love.
Do we really find answers to everything that keeps us troubling and haunting at the back of our heads ?
It might be
the most dark,
and a turning point,
in our lives,
and why do we continue
to ignore it even today
as an essential part of our mental health.

I feel it’s a slow poison,
People gaslighting you,
blaming you for everything,
lack of positive conversation !
What was the first time you felt
losing emotional interest in a close friend/parent/spouse of yours ?
It might be
the first time they yellled at you,
or they smashed a coffee mug at your face,
their coercive behaviour,
their always “I am correct” imposed decisions.
And the list doesn’t end at all.

I want you to see,
that even a minor emotional abuse,
is a negative feedback response
to your brain.
Learn to stay away from toxic people.
You don’t need to feel sorry about it,
because it’s always better to move away
from something
that would probably kill you
when you’re too close.

– ©Ananya Bansiwal
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